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User blog:Danixcalifornia/Everything Has Changed
DISCLAIMER: '''So, I have finally started writing again thanks to a certain new OTP of mine that has seemed to have overtaken my life recently, lol. (okay, not literally, but I love them a lot). This is just a blurb that I wrote a little while ago after soaking up some inspiration from the angsty Riarkle-filled season that was season two and a certain Taylor Swift song that I can’t get out of my head. I obviously do not own Girl Meets World and I don’t claim that this is how I WANT things to begin with Riarkle. It’s just an idea that randomly came to me and I couldn’t resist penning it down. And since I have never shared my creative writing before, I thought I'd share itt now. '''NOTE: If you happen to read this and ship Rucas and/or Smarkle, please don't take offense to how I have written those ships in this story. It is not my intent for this story to reflect negatively on either. The way this panned out was simply my vision at the time that I wrote it. I have nothing but the utmost love and respect for you all. Everything Has Changed Riley grimaces at the sound of tapping on glass. Normally, she’d have her window wide open, but lately, there are certain people she has barred from entry. All I knew this morning when I woke Is I know something now, know something now I didn’t before. Quiet raps at the window intensify into persistent knocks, but it’s the muffled voice of one of her best friends calling out her name with such desperation that stirs an urgency within her. She hesitantly shuffles over to her window. She doesn’t need to peer out to see who it is. She’d know that voice anywhere. Outside in the evening chill stands one of her best friends. His brown eyes are soft with concern, but there’s no mistaking the firm line of his clenched jaw. With a resigning sigh, she unlocks it knowing she has to face him some time. The moment she unlatches the window and opens it for him, he wastes no time swinging his legs over the window sill and in a rather slipshod motion fraught with anxiety and desperation, he drops himself on the seat opposite her. With downcast eyes, Riley can’t look at him. She knows he’s upset that she’s been avoiding him for the past few weeks, and feels even more anxious about the prospect of how he’ll react if he knew why. Never one to beat around the bush, especially with her, he’s direct as always. “Why have you been avoiding me?” he asks. His tone is gentle, soothing even, but his furrowed brow betrays his facade of composure. He’s angry. Very angry. There’s a long pause and for a moment, neither of them think the other is ever going to say anything to each other again. They sit together in a silence that’s almost palpable, weighing the burden of their thoughts, until Riley can’t take it anymore. And all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago '' ''Is green eyes and freckles and your smile '' ''In the back of my mind making me feel like “I broke up with Lucas.” she says quietly. His eyes widen in shock and he’s instantly sorrowful for being angry with her, no matter how much she may have hurt him. If there’s one of infinite things he knows and loves about Riley Matthews, it is that she doesn’t push people away for no good reason. “Riley, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Are you okay?” he asks, his voice thick with empathy. Despite what he feels for her, try as he may not to, he takes no ounce of joy in this loss of hers. He wants more than anything to envelop her in a tight embrace, but he can’t. She’s been so distant with him lately, he’s afraid the slightest motion will scare her away from him forever. With each passing day of these last few weeks of no contact, he’s felt her slip further away. He’d never felt such loneliness. If she’d only known the many sleepless nights he spent mourning the loss of what he treasured most in the world. She swallows the lump in her throat, but her voice still comes out hoarse as she sadly whispers a barely audible, “No.” She keeps her gaze trained on the floor. She can’t look him in the eye. Silence permeates the room until she finally says, “but not because I regret breaking it off.” He nearly does a double take at this. “What? YOU broke it off? Why? Lucas is all you’ve ever wanted. I don’t understand.” Lucas Friar. The boy she dated all throughout her freshman and sophomore year. The boy she fantasized about all throughout seventh and eighth grade before that. The boy she had repeatedly proclaimed to be the prince of her dreams. The boy she had personally attested she thought she’d be with forever. The boy she had now broken up with. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. Riley takes a deep shaky breath. “All my life, I dreamt of being swept off my feet by a prince. One that’s kind, brave, charming, devastatingly handsome..” Against all reason, his jaw clenches as he fights the urge to roll his eyes in frustration. Even now he can’t shake this jealousy he feels at even the boy’s name rolling off her tongue. Deep down he’s always known why the reason for this runs deeper than a sense of protectiveness spurred by friendship, but it’s forever remained an elephant in the room for only him to know about. “So what’s the problem?” “The problem is that’s all it is. A fairytale. Maya once said that you don’t date a fantasy, and she’s right. Because fantasies become dated. I care for Lucas and always will, but I’m not in love with him. The relationship was good, don’t get me wrong. We rarely fought, we always agreed on everything, and I think we were happy enough while it lasted, but I don’t know, it never felt like our relationship ever grew from that middle school stage either. I finally realised that when we tried - well, when we tried to take our relationship to a slightly more advanced level.” she flushed and buried her face in her hands at the embarrassing connotation of what she’d just shared with him, but continued on, “But there was no intimacy. No magical sparks. Nothing like I dreamed. Sure, Lucas and I had our kisses before, but this was so different. This was advancing our relationship. This was testing the waters to determine if this relationship could last. I mean, Lucas is a great guy and I value his friendship. But in any romantic sense, he’s been a fantasy I’ve long outgrown in light of…another revelation.” “And what’s that?” “Lucas is just a boy that I’ve projected my childish fantasies on.” she went on seeming to want to avoid the question, “Honestly, the fantasy was shattered the moment he started looking at Maya in the same way. At the time, I just wasn’t ready to let go of that memory of him hoisting me onto a white horse and declaring me a princess. I know that probably sounds really silly.” At this, she trails off, her cheeks tinged with pink. Always at her defence he shakes his head, “no, it’s not silly. You were swept away by the extravagance of the gesture. Many girls would have been.” He reasons. This time, she lifts her head to look him square in the eye with a sudden burst of consciousness. “No, it was more than that. I was living in a fantasy world. I’d never even left the library from that day when Lucas and I had our first real conversation to realize that we had very few of those at all afterwards. I was so wrapped up in that moment, so wrapped up in my fairytale fantasies, and my childhood dreams, that it blinded me from the bigger picture for a very long time.” “And what’s that?” he asked, his brow still furrowed in puzzlement. Truthfully, he could never have forseen any of this coming. He had long since come to terms with that Riley would never change her mind about Lucas and he was at peace with it, or as much as you can be when you are head over heels in love with your best friend who wants someone else. I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now “I..I can’t tell you.” “Why?” “I just can’t.” “Riley, you can tell me anything. Please don’t shut me out.” “I can’t! It will change everything!” “Everything has already changed! Riley, this is the first in weeks that I’ve spoken to you because you’ve been shutting me out and I don’t know why!” “Farkle, please-” “I’m one of your best friends!” he cries, “Or I was. I don’t even know where I stand with you anymore. But I’d like to hope that means something.” “Fine. You want to know the real reason I realized I wasn’t in love with Lucas?” she asks with a daring tone. Through a curtain of unshed tears, she looks at him with almost an air of menace now as though signifying a warning in advance. “You want to know the truth, Minkus?” she thinks. “Fine you brought this on yourself.” “I was already in love with somebody else.” she deadpans with a slump of her shoulders, completely defeated. There. She’d said it. There is no taking anything back now. It feels so good to confess this, and she hates herself for it. Still, she continues until every pent up feeling is spent. “Somebody whose been under my nose this entire time. Someone who’s been by my side more times than I can count, somebody whose gone above and beyond for me even at the expense of his own happiness, who saved me within a minute of knowing me and has continued to come to my rescue ever since. Somebody kinder, braver, smarter, more loyal, valiant, and handsome than any prince I could have dreamed up.” ‘Cause all I know is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like coming home His heart is pounding out of his chest as realisation dawns on him. She on the other hand has never felt more assured of her words, even as she hears them tumble out of her mouth in a rush. Still, shame bubbles in her stomach. She thinks of Lucas and how hurt he was when she broke up with him. She didn’t have the heart to tell him why, but she suspected that he secretly knew. He had stormed off in a huff leaving her in a flood of tears. Nonetheless, she knew deep in her heart, that breaking up with him was the right thing to do. Not just for her, but for him as well. She knows that deep down, the lack of sparks didn’t come solely from her. She only hopes they can remain friends. Meanwhile, Farkle is shell-shocked and he’s sure it shows. Somewhere in the back of his mind he ascertains that he must look pretty stupid with his brown eyes bugging out of his head and his mouth widely agape, just sitting there with nothing to say. He doesn’t even realize he’s been holding his breath until it forces itself out in a long, shaky breath. “Who?” he inquires tentatively already knowing the answer. Every nerve in his body feels like it’s ignited on fire amidst a plethora of fluttering butterflies wrecking havoc in his stomach. This wasn’t the first that they’d made an appearance in the pretty brunette’s presence, and it wouldn’t be the last. He feels he might be sick and doesn’t dare say a word for fear that if he does, he will say something neither of them can ever come back from. He needs to know exactly what she means, contextually, thematically, incidentally, before he even dares to hope. Everything is about to change with just one confession and he’s terrified. His brain is already prepped to go into flight response before she turns his entire world upside down with one simple admission. “I think you know.” She never once averts her gaze from the scuff on her shoe that since the beginning of this exchange she has appeared to become all too fascinated with and he’s so thankful for it because he’s certain if she looks at him right now, she’ll know everything he’s feeling. He’s certain that every emotion is visibly etched across his features right now rendering him a completely open book and he’s not ready for it. All I know is a simple name Everything has changed He has repeatedly dreamt of all the things he would say to her if it ever came to this moment, a moment he never dared to believe could exist beyond his wildest dreams, but here she is right now confirming his feelings are requited and it’s not a dream. His mouth has gone as dry as the Sahara desert and for one startling moment, he fears he will never be able to speak again. She’s stolen the breath out of him. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles after a long period of silence clearing misconstruing his silence for rejection. “I don’t know what I’m thinking,” she groans in a self-admonishing tone. “You’re still probably hurting from your breakup with Smackle and here I am imposing my feelings on you in the wake of mine with Lucas.” He mentally winces at the mention of his ex-girlfriend’s name. Even though the breakup had been amicable and far from recent, the sting of first heartbreak still holds a poignancy to it. Nevertheless, they remained good friends. Only recently, Isadora had even started dating their mutual friend Zay, and though a small part of Farkle still clung to the nostalgia of his first romance, now faded into a distant memory, he had long since come to grips with their split. And of course, in wake of this incident, former feelings for a certain other brunette begun resurfacing. Part of the reason he was able to move on from the loss, was Riley and her unwavering support. Through thick and thin, the two of them became closer than ever. Both she and Maya began including him in many more of their conversations and outings that before would have been deemed exclusively a “Riley and Maya thing.” The night of the breakup, they’d taken him out for ice cream and Cory was even so kind as to allow the boy to be included in their weekend sleepover - provided Farkle slept in a separate bedroom of course. The both of them had been the best friends they could be, but of course, Riley always went that extra mile. Soon, it was gradually becoming apparent to both of them that their relationship was evolving in ways they’d never forseen before. Their phone calls grew more frequent and eventually as long as into the wee hours of the night, texts more abundant and substantial, nights spent gazing at the stars in Riley’s backyard - a past time rooted in their mutual interest in astronomy - became a weekly occurrence. Could it be that she was already having these feelings she was confessing now as far back as then? Could it be that her heart was pounding just as violently in her ribcage as his did every night they laid side by side under the stars? Could it be those three life-changing words would catch on her tongue just before they’d hang up on the phone every night, wanting to say it, but always too fearful of the repercussions? Could it be that those nights thereafter too were sleepless and riddled with thoughts of him? Farkle’s head was spinning with these new revelations and possibilities. Truthfully, he could still not even get past the idea of the seemingly iron-clad Riley and Lucas romance being no more. He is jarred out of his reverie by Riley’s voice tinged with frustration with herself, “I just want us to always be honest with each other. It’s why I’ve been avoiding you for the last few weeks. I knew if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye and lie about this. I could go on pretending there’s nothing here, but a wise man once told me that friends don’t lie to each other. So I won’t lie to you.” By God’s good grace, he finds his voice finally. “How long?” “What?” “How long have you had these…I don’t know..feelings?” “I don’t know,” she admits. “It’s not like how it was with Lucas when my feelings for him could be tied to one particular memory or event. It’s not like tumbling into a cute boy’s lap, or one night in a library or..a big elaborate gesture involving a white horse. It’s something so much more organic and real than that.” Not once looking him in the eye, she fights back the tears threatening to fall. Her confidence that overrode her better judgement is crumbling. His utter lack of any response is terrifying, and the crushing rejection it indicates mortifying. “I never wanted to hurt anybody. I never planned for this to happen. All I want is for us all to be friends forever, but I’ve ruined everything. God, promise me, Farkle, that we’ll all still be friends after this!” “Of course,” he wants to say, but the words catch on his tongue and a wracking escape of breath catches in his throat instead. No. It’s not the shock that’s rendered him mute. It’s doubt. At this moment, he’s as worried about the status of their group dynamic as much as she is. All I know is you held the door You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours “Everything is about to change, isn’t it?” she whispers in a broken, barely audible voice, her brown eyes wet with unshed tears. In his daze, had he not been listening so intently to make sure he wasn’t hearing her incorrectly, he may not have heard it at all. It already has, he thinks somberly. His lack of response puts her over the edge. “Farkle?” She asks worriedly, her voice laden with emotion. Her bashfulness has melted into concern over her friend seeming to have frozen into an unresponsive state. All of the mental speeches he prepared escape into oblivion. He does what any scared teen that’s just had a huge bomb dropped on him does. He murmurs a few words of apology and jumps out her window. He runs the rest of the way home his thoughts never straying from this earth-shattering bomb that’s been dropped on him. All I know since yesterday is everything has changed Category:Blog posts